“Thou misbegotten rampallian mumble-news!”: The best of Shakespeare’s insults

In light of the numerous posts telling everyone what they should leave behind from 2014 and what they should adapt for a happier 2015 I thought I should contribute. Why not try to bring back the man who wrote some of the best comebacks in history? Have no fear, there are many generators and tools that can be used to augment your insult game.

William Shakespeare had a knack for finding some of the most forgotten, misplaced words in the English language and combining them with other words of equally odd merit to create the best one-liners in the language. Take that ingenuity and mix it with the technology of the 21st century, and now we have insult generators!

So here are the top 3 insults, of my creation, that everyone should introduce to their insult games for 2015.

Thou art a lumpish weather-bitten codpiece!

Thou art the epitome of a reeky onion-eyed malt-worm!

Thou are a yeasty fly-bitten foot-licker!

And here are some of my favorite of Shakespeare’s that are sure to silence anyone:

“How now, wool-sack, what mutter you?”

Henry IV part 1 

“Thou art baser than a cutpurse.”

The Two Noble Kingsmen

“[Thou] mountain of mad flesh!”

Comedy of Errors

“Your bedded hair, like life in excrements, start up and stand on end.”


If you love these and you can’t get enough, I found all of them on the same website where they provide the insults and create a chart where you can make your own? (click here for link)

So here’s to 2015 and having faith in the knowledge that you’ll have the last word every time with a sleek Shakespearean insult. Go get ’em, you wimpled base-court bugbears!

by Kimberlee Roberts